There was an old man who lived in the woods,
as you can plainly see.
He said he could do more work in one day
than his wife could do in three.
The old woman said ,
"with all my heart,
and if you will allow.
You stay home this very day,
and I'll go follow the plow".
The old woman took the horse and the cart
and went to follow the plow.,
The old man took the pail in one hand
and went to milk the cow.
But Teeny winced and Teeny flinched
and Teenie stuck up her nose.
She gave that old man such a kick on his shins
that the blood trickled down to his toes.
"Whoa Teenie, shoa Teenie,
my good little cow keep still.
If ever I come to milk you again
'twill be against my will.
Now when the old woman came home that night
he said he could plainly see
That she could do more work in one day
than he could do in three.
But when he saw how well she plowed
and made the furroughs even,
He said she could do more work in one day
than he could do in seven.
There was a man in our town,
and he was wonderous wise.
He jumped into a bramble bush,
and scratched out both his eyes.
But when he saw his eyes were out,
with all his might and main,
he jumped into another bush,
and scratched them in again.
There was an old woman as I've heard tell.
She went to market her eggs for to sell.
She went to market on market day,
and she fell asleep on the King's highway.
Along came a peddler who's name was Stout.
He cut her petti'coats round about.
He cut her petti'coats up to her knees,
and made that old lady shivver and sneeze.
She began to shivver, and she began to shake.
She began to quiver and she began to quake.
Lord have mercy on me,
who on earth am I?
I have a little dog at home,
and he'll know me.
If this be I as I know it be, he'll wag his little tail.
But if this not be I, he'll loudly cry and wail.
Our forefathers, heaven bless them.
When old England did oppress them,
Signed the bill against taxation,
Calling it the Declaration.
Throw him out the old villian,
Throw him out the old villian,
Throw him out the old villian,
Every mischief he has skill in!
Whisky is an intermeddler,
Rich man's curse and poor man's peddler.
Robs the children's bread and butter,
Puts the father in the gutter.
Throw him out,etc.
Miss Annie McCarty she went to a party,
And what do you think she saw there?
There were animals roasted and nice brown bread toasted,
And many a thing far more fair.
They had mutten and chicken and ice cream to sicken,
And lobster with olive oil sauce.
She ate them so prettily, ate them so daintily,
In her white gloves with a gloss.
The men came around her, enough to astound her,
Admiring her beautiful locks.
But little they knew as they gazed on their hue,
That they could be locked in a box.
She showed her false teeth, with gums far beneath,
Like rows of magnificant charcoal.
But once in a time, to complete my rhyme,
She lost them by means of a knockpole.
( We believe that Aunt Julia composed this song on a Saturday night
to amuse her sisters, Alice, Clem, Daisey, and Jenney who had done her
favors.)